Hindsight is 20/20

It has been 5 days since the outcry over Obama's school speech began. We have the transcript and beyond a question asking "How will you help Barack Obama help this nation?", it seems pretty mild to most pundits. When Rush Limbaugh says something a liberal created is o.k., I think we can all rest assured that it's o.k..

I think most expected the transcript to be put through a McCarthy-machine to find out any liberal or socialist innuendos or riddles. It probably was. Glenn Beck's interns probably sat all afternoon reading and re-reading, with Marx books by their side for reference, and had to enter his office forelorn that they could find zilch. Gack, what will he talk about tomorrow?

I think most also expected that if the speech ended up being innocent, there would be either distraction or back-peddling from the Republican party. Alas, here it is. And here is Glenn Beck's topic for tomorrow.

Dozens of bloggers are our compass, pointing towards the backpeddling. 'This whole thing didn't start because of his SPEECH, it started because of the curricular questions that CAME with the speech!" "I was never concerned about his SPEECH, it was the idea that it wasn't going to be released until close to the day-of". "I'm not concerned about SOCIALIST PROPAGANDA, just about him making the liberal party look good".

Hindsight is 20/20. Interesting how hindsight is so easily changed. I hope that no conservative out there would aim to mis-interpret their party's reaction to this

Humor is the Last Resort

The torches have been blown out by conservative parents being informed that 'parental consent' isn't an issue because they have a right to both prior-notification and opting-out. And further snuffed by the rather important snippet relating that the White House will be releasing the text for parents to read beforehand (How did I catch that rather important fact? By reading news out of the U.K. about our country rather than reading news from Fox in our country!)

So, why will these groups still be holding pitchforks tomorrow?

Who cares. I'm about out of hope for bi-partisanship (and critical thinking skills) in this country and instead of crying about it I've decided to just go junior high on this and seek the funny factor.

If Obama wants to earn back some liberal appeal after he went from progressive to centrist more rapidly than his coursers they came....he might just try to fuck around with his enemies. These are people actively wishing death on him and carrying semi-automatic assault weapons to anything bearing his name. How could a joke make that worse?

Two ideas for his speech on Tuesday:

1. Stand behind a podium and read from Marx. In German.

Or read this, a piece I wrote today to send to my raging-conservative friend as it was either writing it or berating her over Twitter:

Hello children. Some of you know me as your current president. Others know me as the man Mommy has plastered on her SUV bumper. And others know me as Barack "Hussein" Obama, with that middle word hissed and causing lots of spit to come out of your step-father's mouth. Perhaps a few of you know me as a crazy socialist (@#%@%, but doubtful as those kids are what's called 'boycotting' school today. Seriously kids, look around you. Notice any friends missing? Taylor? Greyson? Brooklyn? Kids who aren't here today have asked that you stop choosing them during basketball team choice. Got it? Don't worry. You can trust me.

But....what matters isn't what I'm called. What matters is that you're here on the first day of school and because of No Child Left Behind, all but the last row of you are probably illiterate and barely able to compute single digit equations. Am I right? Am I right? Hehehehehe.

But I digress. You're here at school to read. Reading is a GOOD thing. Reading things other than the Bible and Bill O'Reilley books is a good thing. You can finish Marx's Capital: Volume I in less time than Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! Try it!

These days, because of a man you might know called George W. Bush, school is going to help you read very very fast. Faster than kids in Taiwan! Maybe even faster then kids in Kenya! Or Hawaii, which if you don't know, is a part of the United States. Reading: Good. Hawaii: United States. Because of 'that guy', you know how to read really fast. Because of me, your fearless DEMOCRAT leader (Pause for teacher cheers), you will soon understand what you're reading! All it took was 8 years and 8 months, and you're finally on your way.

So, it's time for change. For hope. For hopeful change. For changing hope.

Between me being the emperor now and you finally getting to learn how to read because of DEMOCRATS, you will soon know that H.R. 3200 is a good thing that will save us all (kind of like Spartacus), and taxation is a rather pleasant synonym for: Playstation FOUR! You will learn this year that the government is your friend, and that without us your parents wouldn't know whether to strap you into a car seat or make you listen to Rush Limbaugh. Don't worry: We'll let them know which one is cooler!

Beyond that: Math. We're not into that "Old Math" these days, or even that "New Math". What we have now is "Newest Math" and I'm bringing it to you as a DEMOCRAT. Yes, comrades. This is cool stuff. . It's pretty simple: You take a number like, say, our national debt: $11,802,725,462,722.65 and it looks pretty big, right? Nah, not in Newest Math. In Newest Math that's nothing. Go home and ask your parents if that is a big number, and I bet 60% will say it's huge, and half will tell you that it wasn't huge until January of 2009. Either way, they are wrong. Your teacher will get to explain all the magic of it later, but believe me: Newest Math! Newest Math!

Drugs and health. Here I was going to share with you that drugs are bad and health care reform is good, but currently our Pharmaceutical Lobbyists over there in a place called "D.C." are having trouble figuring out who their friends are. Do you have friends like that? Let's call lobbyists and people like that "William" See, William acts all nice to you, giving you candy and comic books, and taking you on fun trips on his helicopter. He's cool, so you agree to carry his lunchbox and let him copy your math notes and let him steal your girlfriend. But then when it's time to choose who is up next on the Tetherball court, or in this case whether to support your health reform bill, William doesn't really choose you. Yeah, he gives you props on Twitter, but he goes behind your back and he starts paying off sixth graders to go out there on that tetherball court and rally against you and bitch about your tetherball rules and lie to your kindergarten teacher....and gah, I'm running out of time.

You have to get past the Williams out there at recess. You have to start reading slower. You have to read Karl Marx. And Hawaii, IS part of the United States. Go home and tell your parents, please.

Thank you! I'll be here all week!

~~

How about Americans, instead of standing, blood boiling, angrily waving around copies of Adam Smith literature, or posting "Please copy this pro-Democrat status update into your Facebook page!".....take some time and write out what they think Obama should say to the nation? Do it seriously or do it as I did. Take it beyond the 'sheeple' level and try to think critically or sarcastically. I think if more Americans could think about things critically and use their sense of humor boot, this type of hysteria that we're seeing these days wouldn't be allowed to exist.

Parental Rights in Public Schools

Today we're given the news story that Glenn Beck listeners, i.e. "concerned parents" all over the country are outraged that their children might be shown a 15-minute video from the president without their consent (See: 1989 Ronald Reagan, 1991 George Bush, Sr., 2001 George W. Bush, etc. etc. etc.).

I'll ignore the wicked retahded and go to something I find, at base, the most important part of this story.

The vast majority of parents in this country do not know their parental rights. It became more apparent today.

So, a call-out to anyone with children in public schools. Part motivational, part informational.

- You have a right as a parent to present concerns relating to anything to do with your child's education. There's an appropriate way of doing this, and an inappropriate way (which takes more time, and will not get you the results you want).

Step one: Go to the correct person. Learn this pecking order: Teacher THEN principal THEN assistant superintendant THEN superintendant THEN school board THEN county superintendant.

Step two: Keep a paper trail. You have a right to see your child's school cumulative (permanent) records and get copies of report cards. Advice: Keep documentation of all concerns. If it's academically related, keep your child's schoolwork. Behavior related? Have your kid write and/or translate the occurances as soon after they happen as possible. Take all documentation with you to any meetings, and after the meetings document exactly what went down so that that too is documented.

Step three: Stay abreast of a situation and stay informed. You have a right to know what process a school is using to assist your child or deal with a potential problem. Ask for clarification if you don't understand why they are doing something with your child. Use the pecking order of someone on the lower end can't give you a firm answer. And keep documentation of this whole process.

Information Rights.

- You have a right to view all of your child's school's textbooks, teacher guides, and lesson plans. If you have any concerns with what content your child is being taught, go through the pecking order until you get to someone that can get you the school's documentation. You have a right to it. Where can I find my child's curriculum? Go to your state's board of education's website and they will have links. Or just head over to their school as they will have them in either books or binders for you to look at. If you have a college/university nearby with a teaching department, they might have copies of all the area's textbooks on hand for you to check out (teacher's guides too!). That or you can just head to your kid's school and ask. It's your right to.

- You have a right to know beforehand what assemblies or field trips your child will be attending or going on.

Meetings/Supervision Rights.

- You have a right to conferences with your child's teacher any time during the year. You are not limited to the report-card conferences. Be respectful with your right: Call ahead and schedule a good meeting time with the teacher and let them know what is to be discussed and what you need them to have prepared for it.

- You have the right to ask that the principal is there to witness a parent-teacher conference. And sidenote: The teacher has a right to ask for that service if they feel it's needed on their end.

- You have the right to visit your child's classroom at any time during the school year. A school can ask that you notify them ahead of time to let them know you are coming, but you have a right not to. Spontaneous visits are allowed. Side note that many teachers wouldn't want me saying: You wanna see if your kid's teacher is as inept as you think she is? Go visit right after lunch or go visit halfway through a rainy day. But be respectful and be smart with your right: Always go to the office first to get a visitor's pass, don't make a huge loud scene upon entering the classroom, stand in the back, don't distract your child, and don't stand there with a clipboard and a concerned grimace taking 'notes'. As for smart, if you're there to witness your child's behavior, see if there's a way to watch from an open back door or a back window so that your child doesn't even know you are there. And don't tell them you are going to be there in the morning either. Duh!

'Opt Out' Rights:

- Whether it be a project, an elective class, a holiday celebration, a lesson, an athletic event, a series of lessons, or (Snap!) a 15-minute presidential address, you have a right to opt your children out at any and all times. And unbelieveably, that right is as strong today as it was on January 20, 2009.

Parents need to remember that they aren't just the 'customers' at a school. They are the boss too. Parents are, at base, responsible for their child's education. If we do not understand our rights, we are not doing a thorough job.

Today's hullabaloo could have been quelled with two things:

1. Parents knowing their opt-out rights


The other will be discussed in my next post.